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【智慧之言】母亲教会我的

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What Mother Taught Me

      My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:

  “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!”
  
      My mother taught me religion:

  “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

  My mother taught me about time travel:

  “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

  My mother taught me logic:

  “Because I said so, that’s why!”

  My mother taught me foresight:

  “Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.”

  My mother taught me about contortion:

  “Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”

  My mother taught me about stamina:

  “You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is finished.”

  My mother taught me about weather:

  “It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”

  My mother taught me how to solve physics problems:

  “If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?”

  My mother taught me about hypocrisy:

  “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!!!”

  My mother taught me about envy:

  “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”

    【中文译文】:

  母亲教我的

  我母亲教我如何珍惜他人辛苦劳动:

  “如果你们要打架,到外边打去——我刚整理好房间!”

  我母亲教我什么是宗教:

  “你最好祈祷那个东西能从地毯下冒出来。”

  我母亲教我什么是时间旅行:

  “你要是不改,我把你一把推到下周三!”(意为:不让过周末。)

  我母亲教我什么是逻辑:

  “为什么?因为我就是这么说的!”

  我母亲教我什么是远见:

  “一定要穿干净内衣,以防万一你遇到事故。”

  我母亲教我什么是柔体杂技:

  “你能不能看看你脖子后面的泥!”

  我母亲教我什么是耐力:

  “坐在那儿,直到把所有的菠菜吃完。”

  我母亲教我认识天气:

  “好像有龙卷风席卷过你的房间。”

  我母亲教我如何解决物理学问题:

  “如果我高声叫喊,是因为我看见有一颗流星正朝你俯冲而来,那你会不会听我的话?”

  我母亲教我什么是伪善:

  “如果我曾告诉过你一次,我实际上已告诉过你百万次——不许夸张!!!”

  我母亲教我什么是嫉妒:

  “这世界上有数百万不幸的孩子,他们可没有你这么好的父母。”

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